Life obviously isn’t easy.

It’s cruel and messy 

I got tired sometimes, too tired to believe that my life is going somewhere.

I want to say to my mom, that I’m not sorry for not being the daughter you always wanted me to be.

For always choosing the opposite direction that you told me to go.

I want to say to my dad, that sometimes I’m tired

For having to worry about you all the time. 

But I still love you.

To my brother. I’m still mad at you for yelling me in the train in 2015 

And made me feel worthless

But I want to say thank you, because since that day

I never let anyone treat me like that again. 

To my stepsister, I hope karma hits you in the face like a thunderbolt.

To you, the one that i was crazy about

Thank you for teaching me so many lessons.

Thank you for making me feel like the luckiest and the stupidest girl in the world at the same time

And sorry for leaving you without goodbye

But you deserved it.

And yes, I still miss you. 

To my real friends, thank you for staying

Even though I disappeared from you guys way too many times.

To God. I’m upset with you sometimes, because you make me feel lonely all the time

To myself, thank you for being honest about what you’re feeling. 

Even though it sounds like crap to people who read it.

Published by Angky Ridayana

A sun seeker and a story teller.

2 thoughts on “Honesty

  1. I’m surprised if this post really reflects your feelings.
    Hope you don’t mind if I say something. Forgive them and forget the past, then some of your burden will be released, and you will feel relieved. Trust me. Your future means more than the past.
    I’m sorry, maybe you think I’m nothing.


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